Surviving Divorce

More about Me – 7 Day Blogging Challenge, Day 1

Surviving DivorceI’ve been looking for a way to talk about the things I am passionate about in a meaningful forum that is helpful to others. I also wanted to find a way to make money online.  Hence, this blog.

I came from a very happy childhood, Christian family, and a knowledge of God.

Of course, none of this shielded me from the realities of life.  What it did do, though, is help to equip me to cope.  God never promised us an easy life. He did promise us eternal life with Him through His son Christ Jesus.

I’ve been married twice, and have three beautiful daughters.  I met my first husband in Church and he promised to love me and treat me like a treasure.  As you will already know from the former, this did not happen.

The Bomb Drop

One day my husband came home from work and told me he no longer wanted to be a child of God.  It was the day my whole world came crashing down around me.  The life I had wanted and dreamed of was no more, and I had no control over it!  My ex-husband then became someone I did not know.

He just completely went crazy. Staying out all night “drinking” with the boys, partying and generally behaving quite deplorably doing everything a good Christian husband does not.  I, being a good christian wife, was doing everything in my power to work to save the marriage – no I’m not perfect, but I was trying – really trying.  Divorce was simply not an option.  Well, in the end, it was not my choice.  In the end, talking with the marriage counsellor, he decided he no longer wanted to live the married life and chose to be single.  We had a little girl of 3 at the time and I thought I was going to die!  

The “D” Word

I didn’t.  🙂  I went on a Divorce Support Course offered by my church, I followed all the steps.  I also read all I could about the effects of divorce on kids.  I took my little girl to see psychologists, and I read everything I could get my hands on.  I wanted to survive!  I also didn’t want to be one of those bitter, men hating, single moms – so unattractive.  It was so scary!  There was a time when I allowed bitterness to overwhelm me.  I don’t miss that ugly time.

The best advice anyone ever gave me about taking advice was to find one person you respect a whole lot.  Listen to them only and follow the steps they give you.  Running around listening to people who tell you what you want to hear will never help you.  It just feeds the bitterness.

Four years later, I met my current husband.  We met online through a christian dating site, and it was really an unintended friendship that developed into more.  He was from Germany, I was from South Africa, so it was almost impossible.  But we did want marriage, children etc.  We shared the same Christian principles, same desire to honour God.  We got married and then moved to New Zealand to start a life together.

The “S” Word

Fast forward 5 years, and we are separated. Ugh!  Couldn’t believe it!! Wow, the amount of self-doubt I had as a result.  I felt like I was in a bottomless sink-hole.  I seriously thought I was a total lost cause to be in the same situation for a SECOND TIME! I did a whole lot of soul searching and self examination!

It’s been a painful process.  The most amazing thing is that it has brought me so much closer to my Lord.  Hmm – difficulty breeds character – such an incredible truth! I guess I’m learning about how God wants me to respond.  🙂

Hope

I have not lost hope, and as I watch the movie “War Room”, I am reminded to pray, pray, pray.  If you are interested in the movie, it’s available from Amazon, but I know it is also available free on several networks.  I am so encouraged by it and know that whatever happens my Lord loves me with a love like no other!  As He does you!

I want you to know that you are amazing, beautiful and so, so loved. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

I’ve included some resources below if you are looking for something to help you through a difficult time.  There is one resource that is completely free that I turn to every day.  It’s an app by Angus Buchan with short daily devotions to listen to.  You will be challenged, uplifted and encouraged!  This man is no frills, no fuss and is a farmer from South Africa.  His life is also depicted in a movie called “Faith like Potatoes”

Below are the two movies I mentioned above, but also two books that I found very helpful in helping my little girl cope with the divorce.  I am using the tools I learned with these two books to help my two girls from my second marriage cope with our separation.

Wishing you many blessings and sending you much love!
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4 Comments

  • Caroline October 5, 2016 at 10:45 am

    Thank you for sharing such a personal story, I am sure through your journey it will certainly help others.

    Reply
  • Leah November 24, 2016 at 4:56 am

    ooooh! I like the rotating images- it’s a nice touch.

    I just left you a comment, feel free to comment on my site as well. I just did a design update 🙂

    ~Don’t waste your time! Get the scoop on new ways to make passive income~ https://learnwithleahh.com/

    Reply
    • claire winter November 24, 2016 at 9:40 am

      Thank you for stopping by Leah. Appreciate you making contact. I enjoyed your post about Amazon and their FBA programme. Very interesting reading. Warm regards, Claire

      Reply

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